Desperate Forest Page 10

  Jay emerged from his tent, but he did not look at me. “Where are Gavin and Thaddeus?”

  “Still not back yet,” Gianna said, casting a nervous glance toward the trees. “I hope they’re all right.” Laurel looked up anxiously at Gianna’s words, which surprised me since she always seemed so detached from everything.

  “Those two?” Macie replied. “Ain’t nothing that can stop them. Probably just lost track o’ time. ’Tis always dark in the forest.”

  Jay nodded. “I’m going to get some sleep but wake me if they aren’t back in an hour.” He turned and retreated to his tent.

  Dinner was a sullen affair because everyone was worried about our missing companions. I wondered when Jay would come out to eat and if he was still angry about our conversation earlier.

  My stomach clenched uneasily as I realized he would be much angrier when he discovered me gone tomorrow morning, if I were successful in getting away. He would also probably be concerned for his safety, worried I would betray his location.

  I wished I could tell him he didn’t need to be. I didn’t plan on saying anything about him. I did believe him, mainly because I didn’t think he could fake the emotion I had seen in his eyes. Whatever had happened between him and King Charles in the stable that fateful day, I didn’t believe it was cold-blooded murder.

  As we were cleaning up from dinner, I heard voices. Gavin and Thaddeus emerged through the trees. Gavin was leaning against Thaddeus’s shoulder, limping as he walked. His left leg had blood dripping down it.

  “Gavin!” Laurel rushed over. “Are you all right?”

  “I’m fine,” he said. “I slipped on some rocks and cut my leg, that’s all.”

  “That’s more than a little scrape,” Laurel said reproachfully as she examined his wound.

  “He’ll be all right.” Thaddeus turned to Laurel. “Can you make something to help him heal?”

  “Of course.” Laurel nodded. “I gathered fresh herbs today. He should lie down and rest, and I’ll see what I can do for the pain too.”

  Laurel supported Gavin’s other side and helped Thaddeus lead him to his tent.

  Macie turned to Gianna and me. “Medicine or not, what that lad needs is a hearty meal to keep his strength up. I’ll get to fixin’ him a plate. Gianna, you and Roselynn fetch me bread from the wagon and some o’ them berries you picked today.”

  “All right,” Gianna said while I nodded.

  When we returned with the loaf and a bucket of berries, Macie took three slices of bread and a generous helping of berries, then placed them on three plates already loaded with meat.

  Macie handed two plates to Gianna and motioned to the tent. “Go on, take ’em to him and Thaddeus.” She set the other plate on a log by the campfire. “Then tell Jay there’s a plate waitin’ for him too. And he better eat alla it, if he knows what’s good for him.”

  Gianna nodded and walked away with Gavin and Thaddeus’s food, while Macie muttered, “How these men expect to do anythin’ when they’re starvin’ themselves is beyond me.”

  After Macie finished wrapping the rest of the meat in thick brown paper, I took it from her and said, “Why don’t you and Pete turn in for the night? I can finish cleaning up out here.”

  Pete looked up from stoking the fire, while Macie wiped her brow and said, “I am mighty tired. May as well, I s’pose. ’Night, dear, thanks for your help.”

  “Good night, Macie. Good night, Pete.” I smiled at both of them before heading to the wagon, food in hand.

  When I returned to the fire, I looked around. Macie and Pete had retired to their tent, while the others were still with Gavin. Jay had not emerged, and I assumed he was still sleeping and not even aware of Gavin’s injury yet.

  Asking Gavin to help me catch the Marcsnovian knights was clearly out of the question now. He was in no condition to be riding.

  In fact, depending on how bad Gavin’s injury was, the group might need to stop all travel for a few days. The thought worried me. Standing still made it more likely my uncle’s knights would find me and endanger everyone else here.

  But if I left tonight to find the soldiers I had seen today, I would no longer be an extra liability. I knew there were some, Laurel specifically, who would be glad to have me gone. I recalled what Jay had said about how dangerous it would be for Gavin to travel with me to Marcsnovia. That solidified my decision.

  Most likely, the knights had stopped to make camp for the night, and I could find them in a few hours. Gavin wouldn’t need to be put in unnecessary danger. I could accomplish my original goal, but I had to act now.

  Resolutely, I removed my handkerchief from my pocket and dropped the golver berries onto Jay’s plate with the others. Given Gavin’s injury, I knew Jay would be the one to keep watch tonight.

  Looking at the plate, I couldn’t tell the golver berries apart from the blackberries. I returned my handkerchief to my pocket and brushed off my skirt.

  I would leave tonight.

  ✽✽✽

  By the time Gianna returned to our tent, it was very late. She whispered my name, but I pretended to be asleep. I was afraid if I spoke to her, I would give something away about my plan to leave. As much as I hated going without saying goodbye, saying it would be worse.

  I lay awake listening until her breathing became deep and heavy, then waited several minutes. After what felt like an eternity, I lifted myself from my blankets. Next to Gianna’s sleeping form, I placed a letter I’d written explaining why I left so she wouldn’t worry about me. I had told her I would send word to her in Galesmore as soon as possible.

  I moved to the opening of the tent and peered through the crack at where Jay had sat by the fire last night, but his spot was empty. Slowly, I lifted the flap but saw no one. I looked around and crept toward the fire.

  Jay was not in sight, but his plate seemed to have been scraped clean.

  Not wanting to waste any time, I picked a lantern off the ground and lit it with the remaining campfire flames. Most likely, Jay had passed out somewhere around the campsite, but I had no idea when that might have been. I needed to move fast if I wanted to get away before he awoke.

  With the lantern as my guide, I quietly headed toward Jay’s dark tent, praying I wouldn’t wake the others. As I made my way inside, I was afraid Jay would be there.

  I shone the light around the tent, but it was empty.

  Quickly, I made my way over to the corner where several saddlebags sat and began rifling through them. I found my maps in one, but no compass. I threw the bag aside and began searching another.

  Just as my hands closed around the cold metal of my compass, a dark shadow appeared over me. Gasping, I dropped the bag and turned. Jay stood in the entrance with his bow and arrow drawn, aimed directly at me.

  Chapter 16

  "What are you doing in here?” Jay lowered his bow. “I came this close to putting an arrow through your head.” He marched over and grabbed the lantern at my feet and raised it to my face. “Well?”

  “I couldn’t sleep.” I forced myself to meet his gaze. “I was worried about Gavin, so I came to ask you how he was doing.”

  “Really? And let me guess . . .” He pointed to the saddlebags with their contents spilling out. “You couldn’t find me, so you decided the first place you’d check was my saddlebags? Give me a little more credit than that, Princess.”

  I averted my stare, unable to think of another lie that would sound remotely believable.

  He bent to retrieve the items scattered across the ground, then glared at me. “You’re obviously trying to run off and catch the knights we saw today.”

  “So what if I am?” I lifted my chin. “I could find them in a matter of hours.”

  “Could you? At night, with nothing but a general idea of what direction they’re headed?” Jay stood up and let out a caustic laugh. “Do you have any idea how large this forest is? Or who or what you might encounter in the meantime?”

  “I know it’s dangerous, but it
’s the best chance I have! Besides, if you let me leave now, you don’t have to worry about Gavin’s safety. He won’t have to deliver on his promise to take me to Marcsnovia, and I won’t be a danger to everyone else here anymore.” I reached for the bag he had slung over his shoulder. “I would think you’d be happy to be rid of me.”

  “Is that really what you think?” Jay asked incredulously, grabbing both of my arms. “That I care so little about you? That I just want to be rid of you?”

  “Don’t you?” I swallowed hard, looking into his dark eyes.

  “No.” He seemed affronted.

  We stared at each other in silence, his questioning gaze searching mine. Then it softened, and he brought a gentle hand to my cheek, stroking it with his thumb.

  “No,” he said again, quieter this time. “That’s not even close to what I think . . .”

  He pulled me nearer, and my breath caught in my throat as the confusion in his eyes turned to something else entirely.

  “Please . . . don’t go,” he whispered and tilted my chin up, bringing his lips close to mine.

  Alarm flashed in my mind, partially over the realization he was about to kiss me, but mostly because I wanted him to.

  I quickly pulled back, trying to regain my senses.

  “Stop.” I pushed him away from me. “You don’t get to make this decision for me!”

  “Roselynn—”

  “No! I know what you’re doing. You’re manipulating me! You’re afraid I’ll tell the knights where you are, so you’re pretending you care about me.”

  “That’s not what this is—”

  “Just stop lying!” My voice grew thick, threatened by tears. “It doesn’t matter, anyway.” I shook my head, struggling to compose myself. “I’m engaged to Darius.”

  “Do you love him?” Jay asked in a harsh whisper.

  “Yes,” I replied automatically, mentally cringing at how feeble my reply sounded. What was wrong with me? I did love Darius . . . didn’t I?

  Jay nodded slowly, looking pained by my answer. “And does he love you?”

  I opened my mouth to reply when Jay swayed dangerously and stumbled to the ground.

  He shook his head and cursed. “What’s . . . wrong with me?” He looked up, his eyes struggling to focus.

  The berries . . . They’re working.

  “I knew you’d try to stop me.” My voice broke as I tried to make him understand.

  “You . . . did this . . . to me?” The accusation in Jay’s voice didn’t match his lazy tone. “What’s . . . happening?”

  “I gave you golver berries to make you sleep.” I took a step toward him, a lump building in my throat. “You’ll be fine in a few hours.”

  The look of betrayal he gave me stabbed my heart. He attempted to push himself up with the palms of his hands but instead swayed to the side, then collapsed heavily.

  He groaned, placing a hand to his forehead. No doubt the room was spinning.

  “I’m sorry.” I knelt beside him, fighting back tears. “I didn’t have a choice.”

  “No . . . you don’t . . . understand.” His eyelids drooped. “Thaddeus . . .” His head hit the ground. “You’re . . . danger . . .” He fell silent.

  I bent close to Jay and placed a timid hand on his chest. His breathing was shallow but steady. With shaky hands, I removed his hunting knife from his belt. From the other side of the tent, I retrieved a blanket and laid it over him. With each action, my guilt increased.

  Get on with it, I commanded myself. The damage has been done.

  I was sure Jay would be furious when he awoke. Perhaps rightfully so. I hoped he’d understand my actions were driven by desperation, and that I wouldn’t reveal his location to the knights.

  As I stood up, I couldn’t help but notice how content Jay looked while he slept. As if the demons he carried had released him. I hoped he would have peaceful dreams.

  Having no way of knowing how long he would sleep, I retrieved my maps and compass, then picked up the lantern and hurried from the tent.

  I crept to the horses and untied Belle. I felt terrible taking Gianna’s horse, but I knew Gianna could ride with Jay like I had the rest of the way to Galesmore. I’d assured her in my letter I would return Belle to her as soon as possible.

  “Sh, it’s all right.” I soothed the mare as I walked her to the edge of the campsite. I secured the lantern to Belle’s bridal, then mounted her and crossed into the dense forest.

  Chapter 17

  I navigated the woods as best I could by the feeble light of my lantern, feeling quite foolish about all the times I had compared the shadowy forest to nighttime. Now, I truly knew what it was like to push my way through unending wooded blackness.

  I consulted my maps and compass, staying west and picking a course I thought the soldiers would have taken. However, as the minutes passed, I became less and less hopeful I would reach them.

  I rode for several hours, fearful of what might lie ahead of me in the forest and haunted by what I had left behind.

  Repeatedly, I thought about what had happened between me and Jay. What he said to me and how he almost kissed me.

  I wondered if any of it was sincere. Or was he merely pretending to care for me in a feeble attempt to stay safe?

  And what about me? Regardless of what his intentions were, what were my true feelings toward him?

  I tried to tell myself I was indifferent to him, but I knew it wasn’t true. What had started out as simple curiosity about his past had transformed into genuine concern, which had developed into . . . I didn’t know.

  The disappointment I’d seen in his eyes when I told him I loved Darius pained me. So much that I couldn’t make sense of it.

  After all, I did love Darius. I had been infatuated with him most of my life. When he had professed his love for me, it seemed like a dream come true. The perfect ending to my fairy tale.

  Whatever had happened between Jay and me was a mistake. What Darius and I had was real. At least, that’s what I told myself as I rode the weary endless miles.

  My mind strayed to Jay’s sinister, broken words right before he fell unconscious. What exactly had he been trying to tell me? I knew he thought it was dangerous for me to go to Marcsnovia. That much was clear from what he’d told me and what I’d overheard him say to Gavin.

  But, I reasoned, it wouldn’t be dangerous for me. Darius was there, and he would ensure my safety.

  But his father was the king and even he wasn’t safe. Could Darius be in danger and, in turn, I as well?

  I was puzzled Jay had mentioned Thaddeus. Had he been trying to tell me something about why Thaddeus left Marcsnovia? Or was it all simply a desperate attempt to scare me so I wouldn’t try to find the knights?

  My head ached from exhaustion and the many questions pounding in my brain. I was riding aimlessly now, and I knew I would have to stop soon to rest.

  As I rode on, I couldn’t help but wonder what made me feel more lost—riding through the dark forest with no end in sight or the unanswered questions troubling my mind?

  ✽✽✽

  After hours of riding, my eyes grew heavy, and Belle slowed her pace considerably. The lantern turned dim, with barely enough light to guide me.

  Feeling downhearted but almost too exhausted to care, I knew I must stop and rest. I surveyed my surroundings, trying to find a safe spot. Eventually, I spied a small inlet between two rocks. That would give me shelter.

  The one drawback of traveling on horseback was that it was much harder to hide Belle. I tied her to a tree branch and prayed my uncle’s knights wouldn’t discover us.

  After giving Belle and myself food and water, I gathered leaves and made myself a bed between the two slabs of rock. As I laid my head on the cold forest floor, I couldn’t help but feel dejected.

  My plan had failed. I had not found the soldiers. Now I was alone and woefully ill-equipped to try to make the journey to Marcsnovia on my own.

  My other option was to go back the way
I’d come in hopes of reuniting with Gavin’s group. However, most likely, they would have already moved on for fear of Jay’s safety. And even if I did find them, there was a good chance they would be so angry with me for leaving they would not take me back.

  What a mess I’d made of things. I had no idea what I would do, but I knew I needed to rest before I dared to go anywhere.

  And so, I closed my eyes and gratefully let sleep overtake me.

  ✽✽✽

  I awoke in the morning light sensing something was not right. Movement beside me caused me to stir.

  As my sleep-filled vision cleared, I looked to my side and shrieked when I saw what had awoken me. Atop my right arm was a large black snake like the one that had frightened Amon a few days ago.

  Terrified, I forced myself not to move. I could feel the snake’s leathery skin upon my own. Its beady yellow eyes turned toward me as it released a low hiss.

  With my free hand, I carefully grabbed the knife from my belt and drove the sharp tip into the creature’s body. The serpent’s head curled back in agony, then it sprang forward and sunk its sharp fangs into my arm.

  An explosion of pain shot through me. I rolled away, as the snake lay in the dirt writhing in anguish until it was still.

  I grabbed my arm and examined the wound. Two large puncture marks glistened with blood on my forearm. A numbing sensation ran up and down my limb.

  Clumsily, I got to my feet and attempted to make my way to Belle. I didn’t know much about snakes, but I remembered Gavin saying the one we saw was poisonous.

  My fingers struggled to untie Belle, but my right arm was almost useless. As dizziness overcame me, I sank to the ground and rested my head against a tree. Belle nudged my shoulder with her nose as everything around me turned blurry. A loud roaring filled my ears, and my world went black.

  Chapter 18

  V oices broke through my unconsciousness, but I could not make out any words. Sounds drifted in and out, then I felt the sensation of being lifted and carried.