Desperate Forest Read online

  Chapter 13

  "What?” Confused, I turned my head toward Jay.

  “At Marcsnovia. When you and your father would stay for the summer.” I could practically hear the smirk on his lips. “You were quite different from the other princesses who came to visit.”

  I frowned, although I knew there was truth to his statement. I’d met enough royalty in my life to know that.

  Perhaps it was from growing up without a mother, but when it came to social situations, I lacked the confidence and grace so valued for someone of my station. Or the interest in it, for that matter. I had always preferred reading a book or riding through the forest with my father over attending grand balls and public engagements.

  “You sure did read a lot.” Jay went on, apparently not at all concerned about whether I actually wanted to hear his reminiscing. “Out under that big willow tree by the river—the stable was right by it.” He chuckled lightly. “You used to go out there with a big book every afternoon, like clockwork.”

  I shifted in the saddle, not entirely comfortable having been observed by him, even if it was so long ago.

  “I don’t remember you,” I said, hoping to put an end to the conversation, but my voice trailed off as my mind took me back in time.

  I had been sitting in my favorite spot by the river under a beautiful willow tree. Its trunk was so grand, it provided the perfect surface for me to rest my back against as I read.

  A delicate breeze blew across the river, causing my hair to tickle my cheek. The sun shone high in the sky and the air smelled fresh, but I was not enjoying the magnificent day. Instead, I was miserably reflecting on the evening before.

  It was the summer I turned sixteen and there’d been a grand ball at the Marcsnovian palace, hosting many royal families from near and far. My father and I arrived only days earlier, and I foolishly hoped Darius would finally notice me that summer.

  I’d worn an elegant, flowing silver gown and my hair up for the first time in my life. I had felt quite grown-up and lovely as I entered the ballroom that evening on my father’s arm.

  I was no great beauty by any means, but that year, I’d grown into my looks. My large hazel eyes looked less waifish and more alluring, and while my petite frame hadn’t given me much more height, my figure had filled out. I imagined my usually nondescript brown hair shimmered in the candlelight, bringing to life the golden and auburn highlights the summer sun had created.

  However, aside from the first dance when Darius had danced with me out of convention because I was his father’s guest, he had not returned to my side the entire evening. Although we’d made pleasant conversation during our dance, when the song ended, he’d easily moved on.

  And so, I watched miserably from the side of the dance floor as he paraded one gorgeous princess after another around the ballroom. One raven-haired beauty in a stunning emerald gown seemed to have caught his eye. I noticed them dancing and laughing together often.

  Feeling quite pathetic, I observed how the other girls on Darius’s arm danced with easy grace—not like me, who’d stumbled over his feet.

  I only left my spot at the wall a few times that evening when I was asked to dance by other “eligible” suiters, most of whom were many years my senior.

  As early as socially acceptable, I excused myself from the ball, faking a smile and a headache when my father inquired with concern. Then I spent the rest of the evening crying into my pillow.

  Sitting under the tree that afternoon, I wasn’t sure what I felt more foolish about—my tears the previous night or the fact I had believed Darius would notice me.

  Darius was outgoing, confident, and charming. In short, all the things I was not. Perhaps that was why I found him so attractive. Of course he would prefer to spend time with girls who exuded those traits too.

  Although I had grown up since last year, I was unenchanting and plain compared to the other princesses who attended the ball. Girls who spent their afternoons training in dancing, etiquette, and social poise, not poring over maps, climbing trees, or reading adventure stories.

  I let out a loud sigh and turned back to my book. Whether it was by escaping my problems or putting things in perspective, losing myself in a story always helped me feel better when I was unhappy.

  “Is something wrong, Your Highness?” A deep voice startled me.

  I looked up to find a young man, perhaps a few years older than me, looking at me with concern. He stood several feet away on the path leading to the stable, holding the reins of two handsome horses.

  “No, nothing.” I smiled weakly at him, relieved I hadn’t been crying.

  The young man nodded and returned my smile. He seemed to be about to continue walking when his gaze darted to the book in my hand.

  “What are you reading?” he asked.

  “Oh . . . Beowulf.” I glanced at my tattered book. A gift from my father several years ago.

  “Ah, one of my favorites.”

  “You’ve read it?” I blurted out before I could stop myself. Most stable hands didn’t have a very thorough education. My face flushed over how rude my question sounded.

  He just laughed. “Yes, several times. My mother insisted on extensive schooling for me.”

  His easygoing attitude made me smile. “What’s your name?”

  “Janus. But most people call me Jay.”

  “Janus? As in the Roman god with two faces?” I couldn’t help but be intrigued by his unusual name.

  “That’s the one. One face looking forward and one face looking back. My father died before I was born, and my mother said she wanted to find joy in the future while remembering the past.”

  “That’s a lovely sentiment.” His mother sounded like someone I would like.

  “I guess you’ve read more than just Beowulf.” He laughed again, his kind eyes crinkling in the sun. “Most people have no clue what it means. They usually just think my name’s odd.”

  “Well, I like it,” I said. “It’s nice to meet you, Janus.”

  “You too, Princess Roselynn.” I was a little surprised he knew my name, but then I realized my father and I were well known around the kingdom because of our reoccurring visits.

  Janus nodded and began leading the horses down the path again. Then he said with a smile, “Whatever’s troubling you, Princess, I hope it turns out all right in the end.”

  ✽✽✽

  My meeting with the caring stable boy wasn’t something I’d thought about for a long time. I didn’t recall seeing him again in Marcsnovia.

  How strange that the kind young man I met in my youth had changed to the mysterious man sitting beside me now.

  Part of me couldn’t even believe the two were the same person. But as I reflected on the young man I remembered as Janus, I realized he did hold many similarities to the man I knew now as Jay.

  The way his eyes creased when he smiled, the teasing manner in his voice, and even the way he seemed to be in tune to my feelings.

  “Something wrong?” Jay asked, probably wondering why I had been quiet for so long.

  “No, it’s just . . . I do remember you. Your real name . . . it’s Janus, isn’t it?”

  “It is.” Jay confirmed what I already knew. He sounded nonchalant, but I wondered if he had brought the whole thing up because he wanted me to remember him.

  “Your mother . . .” I said. “What happened to her?” Having him behind me, not seeing his face, I could almost imagine I was talking to the same kind stable hand from several years ago. I wanted to hear the rest of his story.

  Jay didn’t answer at first. Perhaps he was angry with me again for asking him such an intimate question. But when he spoke, he didn’t sound angry, just slightly sad.

  “She died when I was twelve. Typhoid fever.”

  “I’m sorry,” I said, feeling sorrow for him. Typhoid fever was the same thing that had taken Darius’s mother when he was ten. It had been quite a blow to him and his father.

  Jay didn’t say anything else,
so I asked, “How did you end up in Marcsnovia?”

  “When my mother died, I was one of many children left without means. King Charles sent Thaddeus with a team of knights to Fernshire to take in orphans to work at the castle. The fever hit even harder in Marcsnovia, and they were left shorthanded. It worked out—we needed a home and they needed help.”

  “Did you like it there?”

  “I did. King Charles was very kind and a good leader. But Thaddeus was the one I really grew close to. He taught me so much . . . he’s like a father to me.”

  I was relieved to hear Jay talk about King Charles with such fondness. He couldn’t have anything to do with his death.

  His words about Thaddeus surprised me. I knew Jay and he were close, and I had seen them talking together several times, but I also hadn’t noticed anything nurturing about the man.

  “What did Thaddeus teach you?” I asked.

  Jay didn’t answer right away, and I thought he was going to be evasive again. Then he said slowly, “He taught me how to be a knight.”

  My heart skipped a beat. “But I thought you worked in the stable?”

  “I did. But Thaddeus always hoped I would follow in his footsteps. When I got older, King Charles gave me a chance to train with the new recruits. I did well, since Thaddeus had already begun teaching me.”

  “I see . . .” I nodded, taking it all in, understanding more about his history. However, there was still one question left unanswered.

  “So why did you leave?” I held my breath.

  “Things got . . . complicated.”

  “Complicated?” I waited for him to continue. But, of course, he didn’t.

  I shook my head, knowing Jay was done answering my questions. His tone held the same vagueness it had the night we’d been caught in the storm.

  Part of me wanted to press him anyway—ask questions until he told me the truth. But I knew it was useless. He wasn’t going to tell me anything he didn’t want to.

  And as much as I hated to admit it, he really didn’t owe me any explanation. After all, what were we to each other but two strangers thrown together in a desperate situation? Soon, we’d both go our separate ways. Me, to marry Darius and stop my uncle. Him, to continue running from whatever was plaguing him.

  Still, I couldn’t help but feel sadness for him. Whatever Jay was running from, it must have been bad if he was so unwilling to talk about it.

  Please, don’t let him be involved in King Charles’s death.

  As if reading my mind, Jay’s voice broke through my anxious thoughts.

  “Whatever’s troubling you, Princess, I hope it turns out all right in the end.” His voice had just a hint of its usual teasing.

  I couldn’t help but smile as I recalled they were the same words he had spoken to me years ago.

  “I hope so too.”

  Chapter 14

  "Maybe you should tell her the truth.” Gavin’s careful voice floated from inside his tent as I walked toward it, on my way to meet him for our next dueling session.

  “The truth? Right. And what, exactly, would that be?” Jay’s harsh reply startled me, causing me not to call out and reveal my presence outside like I’d been about to. He laughed bitterly. “Besides, you’re one to talk.”

  “That’s different.” Gavin’s voice was so low I almost didn’t hear it, but my muscles tensed at the hard edge I heard.

  What are they talking about?

  I held my breath, remaining still at the entrance. Was there more to Gavin’s story than what he’d told me?

  “Is it? At least you have an explanation.” Jay let out an irritated sigh, and I could picture the scowl on his face.

  “An explanation,” Gavin said. “That’s what you want to call it? Somehow I don’t think she’d see it that way . . .”

  “Sooner or later, the truth is going to come out, Gavin. It’s better if she hears it from you.”

  “I just . . . I can’t. Don’t you think she’s been through enough?”

  “You’ve got a shot at something real.” The anger in Jay’s voice subsided. “You could have a good life. Eventually, Abrax’s knights will catch up with you. You should quit before it’s too late. Just think about it.”

  “You know I’m not planning on staying in Galesmore.”

  “So you’re really going to take Roselynn to Marcsnovia?” Jay’s tone turned hard again. “You do realize that’s not only extremely dangerous for both of you, but you also have no idea what you’re bringing her into?”

  “I know it’s risky.” Gavin sighed. “But Roselynn is stubborn. I have a feeling she’ll find her way there with or without my help. Isn’t it better if she doesn’t try to get there alone?”

  “It’s safer if she doesn’t go at all!”

  While their previous conversation had been a puzzle, now I knew they were talking about me, and my anger rose. Jay was going behind my back to try to stop Gavin from helping me.

  I clenched my fists. After the conversation we’d had riding this afternoon, I felt closer to Jay, like I could begin to trust him. Clearly, that was a mistake.

  “What if she’s right?” Gavin asked. “What if her marriage to King Darius could stop all of this—stop King Abrax and avoid war altogether? I owe it to my kingdom to help her.”

  “You don’t understand,” Jay said, sounding frustrated. “Marcsnovia isn’t safe for her.”

  “And you know this how?”

  “I don’t know! I don’t . . . but it’s a feeling I have. You shouldn’t take her there.”

  “Look, Jay, you know I trust you, but I’m going to need more than a feeling to go on.”

  “I may not remember everything, but what Thaddeus said about—”

  I didn’t get to hear what Thaddeus had said, because suddenly, a large hand clamped onto my shoulder. I spun around to find the man himself glowering at me.

  “With all due respect, Your Highness”—Thaddeus narrowed his eyes—“eavesdropping is hardly a pastime one would expect from royalty.”

  I wrenched my shoulder out of his grip. “I wasn’t—”

  Thaddeus opened the tent. “I would suggest you continue this conversation another time, gentlemen.” He inclined his head toward me. “Perhaps somewhere more private.”

  Jay rubbed his temple when he saw me and muttered something that sounded like “skulking about,” while Gavin merely nodded.

  Not at all appreciative of being treated like a criminal, I glared at Jay and said, “I was simply coming to meet Gavin for more sword training.”

  “Oh!” Gavin’s gaze shot to my still-bandaged arm. “I didn’t think you’d be up for it with your injury.”

  “I can still use my right arm perfectly fine.”

  “I’m afraid I can’t this afternoon, Roselynn. Thaddeus and I are going hunting. There should be turkeys in this area.” Gavin slung his bow over his shoulder. “But I’m sure Jay would be more than happy to help you out.”

  Immediately, Jay and I both voiced our protest.

  Gavin sighed. “It will be good for her to learn from someone besides me, Jay. You’re an even better dueler than I am.” Gavin turned to me. “And Roselynn, you’re the one who said you were prepared to do anything to get to Marcsnovia. Trust me, learning proper swordplay could make a difference in getting there alive.”

  I crossed my arms, contemplating his words. While they were true, I didn’t relish spending the afternoon with Jay after hearing how he was trying to convince Gavin not to help me.

  I turned my gaze to Jay. He frowned and looked down, kicking the toe of his boot into the dirt.

  Gavin glanced from Jay to me. “If any of us expect to succeed, we have to work as a team.”

  I sighed. “Fine.”

  “Good.” Gavin smiled and handed two swords to Jay.

  “Our conversation isn’t over,” Jay said quietly as he took the swords.

  “All right, we’ll talk about it later.” Gavin waved his hand, then left the tent with Thaddeus.
r />   “After you, Princess.” Jay inclined his head toward the entrance, still frowning.

  “Wonderful.” I sighed again, then exited.

  Jay followed. “This way.”

  We walked for a few minutes in silence. Jay kept a few paces ahead of me the entire time, walking so briskly I had to hurry to keep up. I bit my lip, realizing the next hour would be even more awkward if Jay and I continued to ignore each other.

  “Do you think Gavin’s punishing us for not playing nicely?” I asked.

  Jay let out a surprised laugh. “Probably.” He turned briefly to smirk at me. “He is quite the diplomat.”

  Now it was my turn to laugh. “Yes, he certainly is.”

  We entered a small clearing with a stream running alongside, and Jay turned to face me. “All right, so what has Gavin gone over with you so far?”

  “How to hold the sword, basic footwork, and a few strikes.”

  “That’s a start.” He handed me a sword. “Let’s see what you’ve got, Princess, and we’ll go from there.”

  I groaned. “Can you please just call me Roselynn?”

  “Why?” Jay grinned. “You’re a princess, after all. Seems disrespectful to address you without a title.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Right, because you say it so respectfully. I’m not stupid. I know you think I’m some entitled brat who wouldn’t last a day alone in these woods.” I raised my sword and set my feet in the stance Gavin had shown me.

  “Well, if I’m remembering correctly, you did last more than a day. Then you got caught in one of my nets.” In one fluid motion, Jay set himself in a fighting stance as well.

  “Lucky me.”

  “I’d say it was lucky, considering you’re still alive. I doubt your uncle’s knights would have been so kind. Besides, luck is all a bit relative, wouldn’t you say . . . Roselynn?”

  Before I had a chance to respond, Jay nodded his head, a clear signal for me to begin. I took a step forward and lunged at him with my sword, which he blocked easily with his own.

  “Again,” he said and we reset.

  Jay had me do the same move two more times, then stopped me and reached for my arm. “You’re locking your elbow at the end. You want to keep the movement fluid to allow for your next strike. Like this.” He moved my arm for me in a swinging motion. “Do you feel the difference?”