Desperate Forest Read online

  I nodded.

  “Okay, try it now.”

  I did, and this time the sword felt less like a heavy weight at the end of my arm and more like a part of me.

  “Better. Now try three strikes in a row.”

  Following his directions, we spent the next twenty minutes going through a series of attacks.

  “Not bad.” Jay smiled at the end.

  “Thanks.” I struggled to catch my breath from the quick movements.

  “Now let’s work on blocking. You need to angle your sword correctly so it takes the brunt of the impact, not you.”

  Once again, he took me through a detailed guide of how to stand and wield my sword. When he seemed satisfied, he resumed his stance.

  “All right, I’ll come at you slowly, but I want you to block it like you mean it.”

  “Okay.” I narrowed my eyes in concentration, preparing for the blow.

  With a clang, our swords met, the impact almost knocking me down. Jay immediately lowered his sword and reached his hand to steady me.

  “You okay there?”

  “Yes,” I said breathlessly. “It surprised me, that’s all.”

  “Do you want to take a break?”

  “No, let’s try it again.” I knew my blocking attempt was pathetic, and I was eager to learn how to properly protect myself against an attack.

  Jay resumed his position and nodded to let me know he was about to begin. When his sword met mine, I stumbled backward.

  “Here.” Jay laid his sword down and walked over to me. “You need to ground yourself better.” He stood behind me and placed his hands on my waist. “Take the impact with your legs, not your arm, and lean into the blow.” His warm breath tickled my ear, causing a shiver to run down my spine. “Otherwise you’ll lose your balance.”

  He placed his hand over mine and raised my sword. “Let the impact travel from your sword down to your feet.” He ran his hand gently along the length of my arm, down my side, then planted it firmly back on my waist. “Like that.”

  I shifted my feet. His touch unnerved me. Unreasonably so, I realized, for Gavin had also gotten close to me to demonstrate moves when we trained together. He had not caused this reaction. There was something about the man standing so near me now that both exhilarated and alarmed me.

  What nonsense, I scolded myself. The only thing you should feel toward him is annoyance.

  “Let’s try again,” Jay said, seemingly oblivious of the effect he was having on me.

  “Right.” I nodded, trying to clear my mind of my confusing thoughts and focus on learning proper sword fighting technique.

  Jay released me and resumed his stance.

  This time, when he raised his sword to strike, I leaned into his motion and countered the blow with my own.

  “Good!” He beamed at me, and I couldn’t help but smile back. “That was much better. A few more times.”

  And so, we spent the next hour going through a series of drills, combining both striking and blocking movements until I could barely stand.

  “I think that’s enough for one day,” Jay said, regarding me as I struggled to catch my breath after our last drill. “You’re quite a natural at this, though.” He smiled. “Especially for a princess.”

  I shot him a withering look but was too winded to retort. I collapsed to the ground. “If I’m such a natural, why do I feel like I just failed trying to outrun a wild pony?”

  Jay chuckled. “Dueling takes a lot out of you. But you’ll get used to it.” He motioned his head toward the nearby stream. “Have some water, you’ll feel better.” He strode over and grabbed my hand, pulling me up.

  “Thanks,” I said.

  “Don’t mention it.”

  I made my way to the stream and knelt to cup a cool drink to my lips. The water was so refreshing, I couldn’t resist splashing my face and neck with it several times.

  I looked up. Jay crouched a few feet away, also drinking from the stream. He pushed the sleeves of his shirt up to his elbows and splashed his face once, then stood up.

  I gasped when I saw his right forearm. Running up it were several large burn marks. Burns that looked surprisingly fresh.

  “What is it?” Jay drew his eyebrows together as I stared at him.

  “How . . . did you get those?” I pointed to his arm, transfixed, as I slowly stood up.

  Jay glanced down and immediately pushed his sleeve into place. “Stable fire,” he muttered, averting his gaze.

  “Stable fire . . .” I repeated carefully. “You said you stopped working in the stable.” I swallowed. “Those look like they happened recently.”

  “Roselynn . . .” Jay groaned and rubbed his eyes. “It’s complicated.”

  “Complicated?” I scoffed. “Is that your answer for everything?”

  Suddenly, my far-fetched suspicions about him seemed much more real. There were too many things pointing to Jay for it to be a coincidence. And his off-putting words only made him seem guiltier.

  “It was you, wasn’t it?” I said, putting the pieces together, half-wondering why I was still standing there. “The knight who killed King Charles. There was a fire in the stable . . .” I shook my head. “That’s why you’re hiding in the forest.”

  “Roselynn, please . . . let me explain.” He took a step toward me, but I backed away.

  “Did you do it?” I asked. “Please, just tell me, did you kill him?”

  Jay stood there, saying nothing as he stared at me helplessly. With each second that passed, my heart grew heavier, not hearing him deny it.

  Finally, I couldn’t take it anymore, and I turned to hurry back to the camp. My heart was racing, and I wondered if he would try to stop me, but instead, all I heard was his hollow voice behind me.

  “I don’t know.”

  The unexpectedness of Jay’s words, and especially his tone, stopped me. I turned and saw him gazing at me, not looking threatening but incredibly lost.

  “I don’t remember any of it,” he said, shaking his head. He looked away, his voice distant. “I remember being in the stable with King Charles, and I was angry with him . . . I remember yelling at him and him pleading with me. One minute I was there, but the next, I was in the forest—covered with burns and blood, and half-delirious.”

  I hesitated. Was Jay proclaiming his innocence or telling me he was crazy? I wasn’t sure, but I could see in his eyes he meant me no harm.

  “Why were you angry with him?” I asked.

  “I don’t know.” He shook his head again. “King Charles was a good man—one of the best I’ve ever known. I can’t imagine wanting to hurt him. But . . . I must have.”

  I swallowed thickly. I had no idea what to say. Part of me felt pity for him, but the other part of me was frightened. It didn’t matter though, because Jay continued speaking.

  “I try so hard to remember what happened that night. I think about it constantly. I have nightmares about it. But I can’t distinguish between what’s real and what’s in my head. Sometimes, I feel like I’m going mad.” He laughed bitterly. “Other times, I assume I already have.”

  “I can’t imagine how awful that must be for you,” I said, walking slowly toward him. “Maybe the problem is . . . you’re thinking too much with your head.”

  As I got closer to Jay, his gaze seemed so distant, I wasn’t even sure if he was listening to me. Hesitantly, I placed my fingers on his chest, causing his stare to collide with mine.

  “In your heart, do you think you could have hurt him?” I asked gently.

  “No,” he said in barely a whisper.

  At his answer, I released a soft, reassured breath. Jay’s pained eyes searched mine, perhaps for signs I believed him. I removed my hand from his chest, but he caught it with his fingers and squeezed it.

  “Roselynn,” he murmured, and I could feel his gratitude and, perhaps, relief that he’d finally told me the truth. The pain in his eyes, however, was still there, and I wished I could take it away somehow.

 
; I brought my other hand to his cheek and gently rubbed beside his eye where I could see so much sadness.

  “I believe you,” I whispered.

  Jay closed his eyes and exhaled loudly, leaning into my touch, but before either of us could say anything else, the sound of a multitude of horses thundering toward us jarred us apart.

  Swiftly, Jay grabbed the two swords in one hand and my arm in the other, and we hurried into the thick woods. We crouched behind a particularly large tree, then peered past it.

  Through the mess of trees, I could barely make out several horses entering the clearing we’d occupied only moments ago.

  I caught a flash of armor and the color green. The color Marcsnovian knights wore.

  Darius! my mind screamed, although I knew he wasn’t with them. Inadvertently, I lunged forward.

  Jay held me back with a vise-like grip and clamped his hand over my mouth.

  “Not a word,” he whispered.

  Chapter 15

  I struggled silently against Jay’s hold. I was so close! If I could reach the knights, I could travel with them to Marcsnovia and stop my uncle. I wouldn’t need to waste time getting to Galesmore or endanger Gavin by having him take me to Marcsnovia. I didn’t understand why Jay was keeping me from going to them.

  Then I realized and froze.

  If they discovered us, Jay would be killed. Most likely on sight.

  Of course, Jay knew this too. If he released me to the Marcsnovian knights, he would be entirely at my mercy. I would essentially hold his life in my hands, depending on whether I revealed him or not. Clearly, it was a risk he wasn’t willing to take.

  I listened carefully from our hidden spot and heard the knights talking about how they were heading west. The opposite direction as us. This could be my only shot of getting to Marcsnovia.

  But I couldn’t take it. The only way to get their attention would be by causing a commotion, but that would endanger Jay. And so, I did nothing.

  Within minutes, the knights refreshed themselves and their horses at the stream and continued on their way. They rode back in the direction they had come, which was also opposite our encampment. It was too late.

  Even after the horses’ clatter died away, Jay continued to hold me for a few minutes, most likely to be sure the threat had really passed. Slowly, he released me.

  I stood up quickly, brushing off my skirt. “You should have let me go! I wouldn’t have told them about you.”

  Jay shook his head, although he looked somewhat ashamed. Then his expression hardened. “With all due respect, Princess, I haven’t stayed alive this long by relying on the good faith of others.”

  I opened my mouth to respond, but Jay interrupted me. “And as much as I’d like for Gavin not to follow through on his foolish offer, you might want to think long and hard about whether Marcsnovia is really the best place for you right now.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” I felt annoyed that he may have cost me my only chance of getting to Marcsnovia, and he didn’t even seem grateful for my sacrifice.

  He snatched the swords off the ground. “You’re clever enough to figure it out. Somebody killed King Charles, and if it wasn’t me, then whoever it was is likely still there. Perhaps not a kingdom you want to be uniting with yours, now is it?”

  I stared at him as I processed his words. Was he right? If King Charles’s murderer was still free, could I be in danger? Or was his killer standing right in front of me?

  I meant what I said earlier about believing him. I didn’t really think Jay had intended to hurt King Charles. But had he been involved? Or killed him by mistake somehow?

  As I tried to make sense of it, Jay’s quiet voice interrupted me.

  “But then again . . . maybe you don’t believe me, after all.” The pain in his eyes returned, and he quickly pushed through the thick trees.

  Dumbfounded, I stared after him.

  I shook my head and slowly made my way back to camp. I had a lot to think about.

  ✽✽✽

  As I broke through the clearing, I saw Jay several paces ahead of me making his way to his tent. He disappeared inside.

  “How’d it go?” Gianna looked up from sharpening her dagger. I assumed she’d noticed Jay’s grim expression as he strode in.

  “Well, I learned quite a bit, but”—I walked over to Gianna and whispered so no one else would hear—“we saw knights from Marcsnovia.”

  Alarm flashed across Gianna’s face, and she glanced at Jay’s tent. “No wonder he’s in a mood. I don’t know why, but I know Jay doesn’t want anything to do with Marcsnovian knights.”

  “They didn’t see us. Jay stopped me from approaching them, and they’re heading away from us . . . west.” I took a deep breath. “But if I had a horse and a compass, I could leave now and catch them—”

  “Roselynn, no.” Gianna grabbed my arm. “Traveling alone is too dangerous, even for a short while. You should stick to the plan and go with Gavin. Even knowing what direction they’re headed in doesn’t mean you could find them.”

  I sighed. I appreciated my friend’s concern, but I was also exasperated everyone seemed to be making my decisions for me.

  “Maybe Gavin will go with me when he gets back,” I said, a trace of hope in my voice.

  “Maybe . . . but I doubt it. He won’t want to separate from the group that long.”

  I frowned, knowing she was right. If only I had a way to get a horse and my maps, I knew I could catch the knights quickly. It would be dark soon, so they would most likely stop to make camp, meaning I wouldn’t have to travel very far.

  “Come on, why don’t we gather berries?” Gianna reached into the nearby wagon for two buckets. “You look like you could use something to take your mind off things, and we’re almost out of the ones Laurel picked last time.”

  I rubbed my eyes. “Why not?” The idea did appeal to me. Gathering berries had been something my father and I shared. Maybe doing it now would help me calm my nerves and feel connected to him.

  Gianna told Macie where we were going, and we headed into the forest.

  Once there, I showed Gianna all the different characteristics that could reveal if a berry was safe to eat or not—its shape, leaves, color, and even thorns.

  After about a half an hour of picking, while Gianna was busy gathering raspberries into her bucket, I noticed a berry I had only seen a few times in my life. I was about to point out what made this type poisonous when I stopped myself.

  The golver berry was fatal if ingested in large amounts, but if eaten in small quantities it would only cause unconsciousness for a matter of hours. It was extremely rare, only growing in highly secluded, well-shaded spots.

  Its appearance was like a blackberry except for one defining feature: the blackberry’s leaves were divided into three or five oval leaflets, while the golver berry’s leaves were divided into two or four. My father had pointed this feature out to me on one of our deeper excursions in the woods.

  “Take care, my daughter,” he’d said as he plucked a branch from the bush. “This is the deadly golver berry. I haven’t seen it in years. When I was a child, these thrived across the kingdom in dark, overgrown areas of the forest. As the kingdom grew, they almost fell out of existence.”

  My father went on to explain the berry’s key distinguishing characteristic and told me to always examine blackberry leaves carefully before eating the berry itself.

  “But father,” I said, “what would happen if I did eat these?”

  “Well, my dear, if you only ate a handful, you would fall into a deep sleep for several hours . . . unable to be woken by anyone or anything.”

  “Like Sleeping Beauty?” My eyes widened.

  “Yes.” My father chuckled. “Like Sleeping Beauty, although not quite as long as her.”

  “What if I ate a whole bucket?”

  “Then, I’m afraid, you would fall into a deep sleep forever, and not even true love’s kiss could wake you.”

  “Oh!”
I fretfully eyed the thing not even true love’s kiss could defeat.

  “Don’t worry, Roselie.” My father mussed my hair affectionately. “Now that you know the golver berry’s easy deception, take care you never forget it.”

  “I won’t.” I shook my head furiously.

  Now as I picked a few berries and held them in my hand, it was like my father had shown me the way. If I could find a way to get Gavin—whose turn it was to keep watch this evening—to eat these berries, he would be unconscious long enough for me to find my maps and compass and take a horse. I could ride until I found where the Marcsnovian knights had made camp for the night.

  Quickly, I removed a soft silk handkerchief from the pocket of my traveling dress and filled it with a generous handful of golver berries. I carefully put it back, making sure I didn’t crush any precious berries in the process. I moved to a mulberry bush and continued to fill my bucket.

  Part of me felt guilty as I did so. I knew it would be a form of betrayal for me to run off and steal a horse. But, I reasoned, if I left tonight, I could save Gavin from having to make the entire trip from Galesmore with me. Essentially, I would be doing him a favor.

  Of course, it was possible Gavin would agree to go with me tonight after he returned from hunting, but I knew it was unlikely. And so, I kept the golver berries hidden in my pocket. I had already wasted my last chance. I couldn’t afford to not take this one.

  After a few minutes, I returned to Gianna’s side. “Well, mine’s full. How are you doing?”

  “Great,” she said and held up her own bucket, filled to the brim with a variety of berries. She looked at the sky. “Just in time too. It’s almost dark—we should head back.”

  As we walked, I did my best to make easy conversation with Gianna, all the while pondering how I could get Gavin to eat the golver berries. When we reached the camp, we were greeted by the smell of meat roasting over the fire.

  My stomach growled at the scent, while my nerves buzzed anxiously over what I was prepared to do tonight. I was edgy, but I knew I needed to eat a full meal to keep my strength up if I were going to leave.